Tuesday, May 3, 2011

"There's a heartbeat...in fact, there are two!"

In a few more weeks, we will be celebrating the 5-year anniversary of the day we found out that we were going to have twins.  I so remember that day like it was just last week.  I was worried about "the" baby as I was not feeling too well, so in I went to have my wonderful doctor check us out.   Afer she uttered those words above, I remember a loud scream of "Noooooooooooooooooooooo!" in the exam room, and realized that the sound was coming from me.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE having my little luvvies.  I love being a mom to my identical twin girls.  But 5 years ago, the thought of 2 kids was so beyond, so far beyond what I was prepared to think about.  In fact, even a few months prior, having 1 kid was NOT even a thought!  I had no doubts in my mind and heart that I did not want to be a mom.  It was no secret and it was one of the first things I laid on the table when Miche and I met.  He knew it, my friends knew it, my family knew it, my ob/gyn knew it (since she kept getting the same answer from me for almost a decade!).

What changed, you ask?  Honest answer, I don't know.  When did it happen?  I can't tell you.  It was not like this huge moment that I can think back to and say, "that was when I realized I wanted to be a mom."  I do remember sitting in our little window seat in our little kitchen, looking out to the front yard and talking to Miche about how our front yard's plans should be, and pointing out something along the lines of "when we have a child...we would want more lawn space."  According to Miche, that was not the first time I said "when" but I don't remember other instances.  I remember it being a Saturday afternoon, and that when Monday came, I called Dr. Hua to tell her that after all those years she's asked, my answer is now a yes.   She told me I had to get my eggs checked.  LOL!  My eggs checked?  Yep, they do have a shelf life, just like the eggs out of a carton at the grocery.  So, off I go to see if mine were still within the "sell by" date, so to speak.  Blood tests came back and I was good to go!  Turns out, I had super turbo-charged eggs as I was preggers after the first "try."

Fast forward to May 2006....me screaming, "Nooooooooooooo!"... was I ecstatic?  Won't lie, I was not.  Was I scared?  You bet your omelet I was!  Did I take it well?  Of course I did.  Well, I was in a daze for a good week and walked around mumbling "two of them?...two?....twins?...."

First person I called was Chatsie (my niece, who was also preggers with her first) and told her.  "Chats, I'm having twins."  Silence.  Then the sound of the phone being placed down.  Then hystercial laughter on the other end.  I think she laughed for a good 5 minutes.  She was happy for me and also thought it was truly hysterical.  Me, Rowe, going to be a mom...to two at that!  Next call, Nicole.  One of my dearest friends and a mom to twins plus one.  I calmed down a lot after my call with Nicole.  She's always had that effect on me and boy, did I need some solid reassurance at that moment.

My little luvvies...back then, I called them my tadpoles.  I may not have jumped up from the exam table in undeniable and sheer joy when I found out, and Miche could only say "oh my god."  But one thing for sure, I thank my lucky stars for the news I got that day.  I don't think motherhood is for everyone, and I certainly did not think it was for me.  Wow, how I've changed.

Ynez and Kajsa, you are the air I breathe.  You are the gift that I did not even know I could ever be worthy of receiving.  My double the work, double the joy, double the patience required, double the love to give and to receive.

I am looking forward to another celebration of your day, the day I've been calling our "Double Blessings Day."

1 comment:

  1. I so remember that day, like it was just yesterday! I do remember laughing hysterically and for a while. Oh, such sweet words you wrote. I consider myself blessed to be able to share our families together. We love you guys!