Thursday, May 19, 2011

5 years ago - what was going on in Rowe's Room?

I had mentioned in my last post that I found the online journal that I had started the day we found out I was preggers.  I am posting (below) the first two entries from May 15th and 20th of 2006. 

Wow, was that really 5 years ago when this house was big enough, pristine (think Pottery Barn catalog) and without anything out of place?  Was it only five years ago when  sleeping in did not mean till 7:30 am? 

Fast forward - Pottery Barn looking house is not back.  Kosta Boda collections all tucked away somewhere in the back shed.  One piece of furniture in the living room, a sofa that that does not match anything but serves up hours of fun and laughter as a play structure, high jump pit and whatever activity is thought of. The house looks more like an aisle at Toys R Us after a rummage sale. But know what,  I have not known "fullness"and happiness like this.  Nothing can compare to the love of a parent for a child.  The kind that literally fills you up, heart and soul, mind and body.

5 years ago, I learned I was pregnant..... (note: not knowing yet that there would be two and double everything!).  

(April, mentioned below, just gave birth to her 2nd child a few days ago!  Yo also now has 2 kids!)


"Monday, May 15, 2006 Mamma called Dr. Hua's clinic to ask about whether her lab results had arrived. It was confirmed to her that she is indeed pregnant and I am in her tummy! Pappa and Mamma are very happy, although they are trying to not go overboard just yet. They are remembering how it was last pregnancy of Mamma's, so they are just going to keep this pretty quiet for now. "

"Saturday, May 20, 2006 The feeling of being worn out is starting to hit Mamma. Today, we were supposed to go to 2 celebrations. Tita April Saenz's graduation party and a party at Yo & Rob Berry's. But we only made it to April's as Mamma was too tired afterwards. Pappa took her home to rest and just stayed in for the night"

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Balancing Acts Article - perfect for today.

The other day, I managed to track down an online journal that I started on the day I found out I was pregnant.  Not the day I found out about having twins, the Double Blessings Day (which I had blogged about last time), but the day I took the stick test.  I'm so glad to find this journal as I thought the site was gone and so were my musings and updates written in the voice of the baby(ies).  What a kick to read through the many months of carrying the little luvvies (tadpoles, I called them then), and the next two years after they arrived.  As you can imagine, a busy schedule kept me from keeping the journal up, which is truly a shame.

In one of my entries, I found an article I had written for a featured column called "Balancing Acts."  This newsletter is circulated to the twins club we belong to.  I wrote this in November of 2008, so the girls were just about to turn two.

Here it is, I thought I'd post it in honor of the day of moms.  Let's not forget the things we learn from our kids, whether they are 2 or 42 years young.

Happy Mamma's Day!

Balancing Acts
By Rowe LapiƱa Hoffer

Just yesterday, a colleague and friend of mine were chatting in my office about how crazy and frazzled we had been feeling. She and I are both moms to twins (mine are 2 on Dec 21), and both working full time at corporate jobs that require us to be “moms” at the office too. We were “gabbing” about the routines we have, the schedules to keep (and sometimes, break) and the endless planning ahead day in and day out. We tired ourselves out just by talking about them!

Then within the same breath, we talked about how insanely happy we were as moms, and to twins at that, and how we feel so blessed to have double the joy.

This article is about balance, being moms to multiples certainly require skills of balancing (picture: on one’s head, while reaching out with one hand to a distant object, carrying a heavy load on one foot – same time giving lots of kisses to our luvvies).

As I write this article on the day before Thanksgiving, and feeling some relief that our plans for tomorrow are quite easy and low-key, I am finding myself changing the content of this article from how and what I do to balance (a corporate job in high-tech, running a family fitness company, ramping up my own styling biz, keeping to some form of fitness regimen, keeping the house from becoming unlivable) to actually writing about how I am recognizing that my children are the ones that give me and teach me balance!

Becoming child-like again, rediscovering the simple joys and pleasures, appreciating kind gestures and displays of affection, these are traits I have relearned from my girls. These are wonderful traits that keep me from losing sight of what to be thankful for, even when I am constantly faced with “things” and events that exasperate and frustrate. These little creatures of joy, without them even knowing it, balance out the +s and –s of being an adult, and the responsibility of having to be an adult with kids added.

When we shriek with laughter as we play in a puddle balances out the hassle of the chores to do (oh the many loads of laundry!). Looking up at the sky while we lay on the grass, pointing out birds and clouds as we sing a silly song balances out my weeklyinconvenient visits to the allergy clinic (I’m allergic to a lot of things, grass being one of them - might as well roll in grass with them since I’ll be getting 4 needles anyway!). Coming home from the office in time to be there as they wake up from a nap balances out the working late every night after they have gone to bed to catch up on the work. The rewards of hugs and kisses and faces that light up each time they see me balance out all the frenzy, chaos, stress from strings of days and nights when you are just exhausted and feel like everyone wants a piece of you.

There are so many wonderful/difficult days and nights and I continue to look forward to new ones each day. If not for them coming into my life, I wonder if I would be "well-balanced" enough to be able to look up from my computer this morning, look out the window and think to myself, “it’s raining…ugh!  But with rain comes puddles…yipppeee!”  I don't think that would have been my reaction to rain before my kids had given me the gift of seeing things through their eyes.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

"There's a fact, there are two!"

In a few more weeks, we will be celebrating the 5-year anniversary of the day we found out that we were going to have twins.  I so remember that day like it was just last week.  I was worried about "the" baby as I was not feeling too well, so in I went to have my wonderful doctor check us out.   Afer she uttered those words above, I remember a loud scream of "Noooooooooooooooooooooo!" in the exam room, and realized that the sound was coming from me.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE having my little luvvies.  I love being a mom to my identical twin girls.  But 5 years ago, the thought of 2 kids was so beyond, so far beyond what I was prepared to think about.  In fact, even a few months prior, having 1 kid was NOT even a thought!  I had no doubts in my mind and heart that I did not want to be a mom.  It was no secret and it was one of the first things I laid on the table when Miche and I met.  He knew it, my friends knew it, my family knew it, my ob/gyn knew it (since she kept getting the same answer from me for almost a decade!).

What changed, you ask?  Honest answer, I don't know.  When did it happen?  I can't tell you.  It was not like this huge moment that I can think back to and say, "that was when I realized I wanted to be a mom."  I do remember sitting in our little window seat in our little kitchen, looking out to the front yard and talking to Miche about how our front yard's plans should be, and pointing out something along the lines of "when we have a child...we would want more lawn space."  According to Miche, that was not the first time I said "when" but I don't remember other instances.  I remember it being a Saturday afternoon, and that when Monday came, I called Dr. Hua to tell her that after all those years she's asked, my answer is now a yes.   She told me I had to get my eggs checked.  LOL!  My eggs checked?  Yep, they do have a shelf life, just like the eggs out of a carton at the grocery.  So, off I go to see if mine were still within the "sell by" date, so to speak.  Blood tests came back and I was good to go!  Turns out, I had super turbo-charged eggs as I was preggers after the first "try."

Fast forward to May screaming, "Nooooooooooooo!"... was I ecstatic?  Won't lie, I was not.  Was I scared?  You bet your omelet I was!  Did I take it well?  Of course I did.  Well, I was in a daze for a good week and walked around mumbling "two of them?...two?....twins?...."

First person I called was Chatsie (my niece, who was also preggers with her first) and told her.  "Chats, I'm having twins."  Silence.  Then the sound of the phone being placed down.  Then hystercial laughter on the other end.  I think she laughed for a good 5 minutes.  She was happy for me and also thought it was truly hysterical.  Me, Rowe, going to be a two at that!  Next call, Nicole.  One of my dearest friends and a mom to twins plus one.  I calmed down a lot after my call with Nicole.  She's always had that effect on me and boy, did I need some solid reassurance at that moment.

My little luvvies...back then, I called them my tadpoles.  I may not have jumped up from the exam table in undeniable and sheer joy when I found out, and Miche could only say "oh my god."  But one thing for sure, I thank my lucky stars for the news I got that day.  I don't think motherhood is for everyone, and I certainly did not think it was for me.  Wow, how I've changed.

Ynez and Kajsa, you are the air I breathe.  You are the gift that I did not even know I could ever be worthy of receiving.  My double the work, double the joy, double the patience required, double the love to give and to receive.

I am looking forward to another celebration of your day, the day I've been calling our "Double Blessings Day."