The other day, I managed to track down an online journal that I started on the day I found out I was pregnant. Not the day I found out about having twins, the Double Blessings Day (which I had blogged about last time), but the day I took the stick test. I'm so glad to find this journal as I thought the site was gone and so were my musings and updates written in the voice of the baby(ies). What a kick to read through the many months of carrying the little luvvies (tadpoles, I called them then), and the next two years after they arrived. As you can imagine, a busy schedule kept me from keeping the journal up, which is truly a shame.
In one of my entries, I found an article I had written for a featured column called "Balancing Acts." This newsletter is circulated to the twins club we belong to. I wrote this in November of 2008, so the girls were just about to turn two.
Here it is, I thought I'd post it in honor of the day of moms. Let's not forget the things we learn from our kids, whether they are 2 or 42 years young.
Happy Mamma's Day!
-----------------------------------------
Balancing Acts
By Rowe Lapiña Hoffer
Just yesterday, a colleague and friend of mine were chatting in my office about how crazy and frazzled we had been feeling. She and I are both moms to twins (mine are 2 on Dec 21), and both working full time at corporate jobs that require us to be “moms” at the office too. We were “gabbing” about the routines we have, the schedules to keep (and sometimes, break) and the endless planning ahead day in and day out. We tired ourselves out just by talking about them!
Then within the same breath, we talked about how insanely happy we were as moms, and to twins at that, and how we feel so blessed to have double the joy.
This article is about balance, being moms to multiples certainly require skills of balancing (picture: on one’s head, while reaching out with one hand to a distant object, carrying a heavy load on one foot – same time giving lots of kisses to our luvvies).
As I write this article on the day before Thanksgiving, and feeling some relief that our plans for tomorrow are quite easy and low-key, I am finding myself changing the content of this article from how and what I do to balance (a corporate job in high-tech, running a family fitness company, ramping up my own styling biz, keeping to some form of fitness regimen, keeping the house from becoming unlivable) to actually writing about how I am recognizing that my children are the ones that give me and teach me balance!
Becoming child-like again, rediscovering the simple joys and pleasures, appreciating kind gestures and displays of affection, these are traits I have relearned from my girls. These are wonderful traits that keep me from losing sight of what to be thankful for, even when I am constantly faced with “things” and events that exasperate and frustrate. These little creatures of joy, without them even knowing it, balance out the +s and –s of being an adult, and the responsibility of having to be an adult with kids added.
When we shriek with laughter as we play in a puddle balances out the hassle of the chores to do (oh the many loads of laundry!). Looking up at the sky while we lay on the grass, pointing out birds and clouds as we sing a silly song balances out my weeklyinconvenient visits to the allergy clinic (I’m allergic to a lot of things, grass being one of them - might as well roll in grass with them since I’ll be getting 4 needles anyway!). Coming home from the office in time to be there as they wake up from a nap balances out the working late every night after they have gone to bed to catch up on the work. The rewards of hugs and kisses and faces that light up each time they see me balance out all the frenzy, chaos, stress from strings of days and nights when you are just exhausted and feel like everyone wants a piece of you.
There are so many wonderful/difficult days and nights and I continue to look forward to new ones each day. If not for them coming into my life, I wonder if I would be "well-balanced" enough to be able to look up from my computer this morning, look out the window and think to myself, “it’s raining…ugh! But with rain comes puddles…yipppeee!” I don't think that would have been my reaction to rain before my kids had given me the gift of seeing things through their eyes.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
"There's a heartbeat...in fact, there are two!"
In a few more weeks, we will be celebrating the 5-year anniversary of the day we found out that we were going to have twins. I so remember that day like it was just last week. I was worried about "the" baby as I was not feeling too well, so in I went to have my wonderful doctor check us out. Afer she uttered those words above, I remember a loud scream of "Noooooooooooooooooooooo!" in the exam room, and realized that the sound was coming from me.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE having my little luvvies. I love being a mom to my identical twin girls. But 5 years ago, the thought of 2 kids was so beyond, so far beyond what I was prepared to think about. In fact, even a few months prior, having 1 kid was NOT even a thought! I had no doubts in my mind and heart that I did not want to be a mom. It was no secret and it was one of the first things I laid on the table when Miche and I met. He knew it, my friends knew it, my family knew it, my ob/gyn knew it (since she kept getting the same answer from me for almost a decade!).
What changed, you ask? Honest answer, I don't know. When did it happen? I can't tell you. It was not like this huge moment that I can think back to and say, "that was when I realized I wanted to be a mom." I do remember sitting in our little window seat in our little kitchen, looking out to the front yard and talking to Miche about how our front yard's plans should be, and pointing out something along the lines of "when we have a child...we would want more lawn space." According to Miche, that was not the first time I said "when" but I don't remember other instances. I remember it being a Saturday afternoon, and that when Monday came, I called Dr. Hua to tell her that after all those years she's asked, my answer is now a yes. She told me I had to get my eggs checked. LOL! My eggs checked? Yep, they do have a shelf life, just like the eggs out of a carton at the grocery. So, off I go to see if mine were still within the "sell by" date, so to speak. Blood tests came back and I was good to go! Turns out, I had super turbo-charged eggs as I was preggers after the first "try."
Fast forward to May 2006....me screaming, "Nooooooooooooo!"... was I ecstatic? Won't lie, I was not. Was I scared? You bet your omelet I was! Did I take it well? Of course I did. Well, I was in a daze for a good week and walked around mumbling "two of them?...two?....twins?...."
First person I called was Chatsie (my niece, who was also preggers with her first) and told her. "Chats, I'm having twins." Silence. Then the sound of the phone being placed down. Then hystercial laughter on the other end. I think she laughed for a good 5 minutes. She was happy for me and also thought it was truly hysterical. Me, Rowe, going to be a mom...to two at that! Next call, Nicole. One of my dearest friends and a mom to twins plus one. I calmed down a lot after my call with Nicole. She's always had that effect on me and boy, did I need some solid reassurance at that moment.
My little luvvies...back then, I called them my tadpoles. I may not have jumped up from the exam table in undeniable and sheer joy when I found out, and Miche could only say "oh my god." But one thing for sure, I thank my lucky stars for the news I got that day. I don't think motherhood is for everyone, and I certainly did not think it was for me. Wow, how I've changed.
Ynez and Kajsa, you are the air I breathe. You are the gift that I did not even know I could ever be worthy of receiving. My double the work, double the joy, double the patience required, double the love to give and to receive.
I am looking forward to another celebration of your day, the day I've been calling our "Double Blessings Day."
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE having my little luvvies. I love being a mom to my identical twin girls. But 5 years ago, the thought of 2 kids was so beyond, so far beyond what I was prepared to think about. In fact, even a few months prior, having 1 kid was NOT even a thought! I had no doubts in my mind and heart that I did not want to be a mom. It was no secret and it was one of the first things I laid on the table when Miche and I met. He knew it, my friends knew it, my family knew it, my ob/gyn knew it (since she kept getting the same answer from me for almost a decade!).
What changed, you ask? Honest answer, I don't know. When did it happen? I can't tell you. It was not like this huge moment that I can think back to and say, "that was when I realized I wanted to be a mom." I do remember sitting in our little window seat in our little kitchen, looking out to the front yard and talking to Miche about how our front yard's plans should be, and pointing out something along the lines of "when we have a child...we would want more lawn space." According to Miche, that was not the first time I said "when" but I don't remember other instances. I remember it being a Saturday afternoon, and that when Monday came, I called Dr. Hua to tell her that after all those years she's asked, my answer is now a yes. She told me I had to get my eggs checked. LOL! My eggs checked? Yep, they do have a shelf life, just like the eggs out of a carton at the grocery. So, off I go to see if mine were still within the "sell by" date, so to speak. Blood tests came back and I was good to go! Turns out, I had super turbo-charged eggs as I was preggers after the first "try."
Fast forward to May 2006....me screaming, "Nooooooooooooo!"... was I ecstatic? Won't lie, I was not. Was I scared? You bet your omelet I was! Did I take it well? Of course I did. Well, I was in a daze for a good week and walked around mumbling "two of them?...two?....twins?...."
First person I called was Chatsie (my niece, who was also preggers with her first) and told her. "Chats, I'm having twins." Silence. Then the sound of the phone being placed down. Then hystercial laughter on the other end. I think she laughed for a good 5 minutes. She was happy for me and also thought it was truly hysterical. Me, Rowe, going to be a mom...to two at that! Next call, Nicole. One of my dearest friends and a mom to twins plus one. I calmed down a lot after my call with Nicole. She's always had that effect on me and boy, did I need some solid reassurance at that moment.
My little luvvies...back then, I called them my tadpoles. I may not have jumped up from the exam table in undeniable and sheer joy when I found out, and Miche could only say "oh my god." But one thing for sure, I thank my lucky stars for the news I got that day. I don't think motherhood is for everyone, and I certainly did not think it was for me. Wow, how I've changed.
Ynez and Kajsa, you are the air I breathe. You are the gift that I did not even know I could ever be worthy of receiving. My double the work, double the joy, double the patience required, double the love to give and to receive.
I am looking forward to another celebration of your day, the day I've been calling our "Double Blessings Day."
Monday, April 25, 2011
Hey boss...
I've had the fortune and honor of working with wonderful executives since becoming an Executive Assistant. "Becoming" is kind of an odd word to use. It sounds like I had prepared, planned, or even thought to be one. Back then, during my days and nights spent as a younger person in Rowe's Room, what I wanted to be, what I wanted to do for a career was nowhere near being an EA. I wanted to be an actress, I wanted to be a performer, I wanted to be on stage. And those of you from way back when, you knew I was actually good! Who could forget sophomore year's fantastic production at dramafest when we took home most of the awards (including yours truly's "Best Actress")!
Getting back to being an EA...
If you're still thinking of an EA as a "secretary" then you need to pull your head out of the ground (or get a job where there is actually an executive who knows how to use an EA). I'm not going to explain the difference here, you either get it, or you don't.
So, if you do have one, or work closely with one, take note - it is Professional Administrator's Week. Don't let the week go by without letting your EA know that you paid attention -greet him/her! I know you all say "thank you" each time she/he hands you a bottle of water in between meetings (or stocks up your fridge in your cube with water for your consumption), I know you say "thank you" each time he/she reminds you that you can not travel on that certain day or that you can't take a dinner meeting because it is your anniversary or your kid's recital, I realize you say thank you when she spends 3 full days on the phone looking and searching for those window blinds that you dropped off somewhere near your flat in the city, but you can't remember where exactly. Thank yous each time your EA helps you get through your day without any major blunders are nice, we appreciate that you were taught good manners and remember to say "please" and "thank you". However, don't kid yourself and think that you can rest on those. Say an extra "thank you" this week and make it be known that you are capable of remembering something that she didn't remind you of or noted on your calendar.
And while we're at it..beyond "Admin Week," please don't forget to show your EA you took the time to buy her a card over the holidays. Imagine how it feels like to be the one making sure your contacts all receive their cards, yet we don't even receive one! (And no, the generic card from the company, with your signature at the bottom does not count!)
I have had some really thoughtful and very generous CEOs and executives in my career. I'm blessed and privileged to have worked for these classy bosses (and their classy spouses)! I have no complaints as the record of 11 "thoughtful" bosses to 1 "not so much" in my over 15 years of being an EA is very, very good.
And hey boss, remember...this is the person who holds all your personal information at the tip of her fingertips, has a network of other EAs that would put the "illuminati" to shame. So, hey boss, this week...do say a proper "thank you for all that you do for me" to your EA! You don't want your spouse's big bday to be "forgotten" do you?
(To my fellow EAs...Happy Admin Week!)
Getting back to being an EA...
If you're still thinking of an EA as a "secretary" then you need to pull your head out of the ground (or get a job where there is actually an executive who knows how to use an EA). I'm not going to explain the difference here, you either get it, or you don't.
So, if you do have one, or work closely with one, take note - it is Professional Administrator's Week. Don't let the week go by without letting your EA know that you paid attention -greet him/her! I know you all say "thank you" each time she/he hands you a bottle of water in between meetings (or stocks up your fridge in your cube with water for your consumption), I know you say "thank you" each time he/she reminds you that you can not travel on that certain day or that you can't take a dinner meeting because it is your anniversary or your kid's recital, I realize you say thank you when she spends 3 full days on the phone looking and searching for those window blinds that you dropped off somewhere near your flat in the city, but you can't remember where exactly. Thank yous each time your EA helps you get through your day without any major blunders are nice, we appreciate that you were taught good manners and remember to say "please" and "thank you". However, don't kid yourself and think that you can rest on those. Say an extra "thank you" this week and make it be known that you are capable of remembering something that she didn't remind you of or noted on your calendar.
And while we're at it..beyond "Admin Week," please don't forget to show your EA you took the time to buy her a card over the holidays. Imagine how it feels like to be the one making sure your contacts all receive their cards, yet we don't even receive one! (And no, the generic card from the company, with your signature at the bottom does not count!)
I have had some really thoughtful and very generous CEOs and executives in my career. I'm blessed and privileged to have worked for these classy bosses (and their classy spouses)! I have no complaints as the record of 11 "thoughtful" bosses to 1 "not so much" in my over 15 years of being an EA is very, very good.
And hey boss, remember...this is the person who holds all your personal information at the tip of her fingertips, has a network of other EAs that would put the "illuminati" to shame. So, hey boss, this week...do say a proper "thank you for all that you do for me" to your EA! You don't want your spouse's big bday to be "forgotten" do you?
(To my fellow EAs...Happy Admin Week!)
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Guess what? I AM "Rowe's Room!"
I was so determined to find who owns "Rowe's Room" ..... well, lo and behold, I AM ROWE'S ROOM! LOL.
Apparently, I set this site up back in 2009 but never got around to posting anything! So, my dear followers (all 6 of you)...please follow this blog site. In a way, I'm glad I wrote my first post under the notion that I did not have "Rowe's Room" as I immediately had something to write about in retrospect.
More soon....
------------------------------
I wanted this blog to be called "Rowe's Room." Unfortunately, it's not available and I could not pull up who/what it is being used for.
"Rowe's Room" makes me think of so many wonderful things and yes, I'm bummed that I don't get to use it. When I was a teenager and living in Manila, my friends loved to hang out at our house, in my room. Our house was located near the entrance of our gated "village" (what we called our private communities) and residents pretty much had to drive by our house to go in/out of the village (for those who lived in the Annex side). My room was a common venue for lazy afternoons and those rare Saturday nights when I was not out at some party (or parties) or event. Yes, there were those Saturdays, believe it or not. Of course, no boys were allowed in Rowe's Room, it was my parents' home after all, and hello...I was a good catholic girl. (Okay, no snickering...I was, truly!) The boys allowed were friends who had girlfriends with them - definitely not MY boyfriend(s).
My room was like a "lounge." Airconditioned (remember, Manila location), tv, music, and an abundance of yummy snacks, hand-made and from scratch, cooked and baked by my awesome chef of a mom. Ensaymadas and sans rival and chocolate cakes were typical at my house, all at the same time. How I was not 300 lbs back then, I don't know. Perhaps the bountiful presence of food made me less interested.
Apart from mom's yummies available to us in Rowe's Room, I had makeup, accessories, cool stuff that made hanging out for hours fun (okay, not as fun as being out to parties..but fun enough).
Rowe's room was also on the corner of our lot. Windows faced out to the street. Friends driving by would see my lights on, or my car on the driveway, and next thing you know, there are 5+ ppl stopping at the house and trotting up to Rowe's Room. Good memories...
In Rowe's Room was where I wrote and wrote and wrote for hours and hours. Journals, letters, poems. I still have my red spiral-bound notebook with poems and quotes. The letters (I kept copies of letters I wrote to people), I don't have anymore and I can't recall when I decided to let go of them. I grew up watching my beloved dad, a beautiful writer who used a fountain pen and a ledger for a journal, write for hours as well. I wish I had his journals. I used to sneak in and read his entries..I used to get lost in his words. For some reason, my mom says she does not have my dad's journals. I get so sad thinking about how his legacy in words are now just lost, and I will not be able to read about his last days, last years.
A few people have told me to blog. For the most part, they want me to blog about my being a mom to my little luvvies. I wonder why anyone would want to read my words about anything. What is it to anyone, why would it be interesting? So, if you are out there, reading this...my musings, I wonder why!
It's almost midnight now. I am quite tired after an uncomfortable 1.5 hours at the dentist's for a filling, then a day at the job (Mozilla), then the rush of getting the little luvvies from school, bathed and then hauling myself to my first dance class (where I was humbled by chacha and samba). Miche has gone to bed and so should I. A Zyrtec (for my allergies) is part of each night time routine, leaving me groggy for the first 10 or so minutes upon waking every morning.
Tomorrow morning, I will wake up and will give my luvvies their goodmorning/wake-up kisses as I always do. And then it begins all over again. Go, go, go...rowe. That's me.
Apparently, I set this site up back in 2009 but never got around to posting anything! So, my dear followers (all 6 of you)...please follow this blog site. In a way, I'm glad I wrote my first post under the notion that I did not have "Rowe's Room" as I immediately had something to write about in retrospect.
More soon....
------------------------------
I wanted this blog to be called "Rowe's Room." Unfortunately, it's not available and I could not pull up who/what it is being used for.
"Rowe's Room" makes me think of so many wonderful things and yes, I'm bummed that I don't get to use it. When I was a teenager and living in Manila, my friends loved to hang out at our house, in my room. Our house was located near the entrance of our gated "village" (what we called our private communities) and residents pretty much had to drive by our house to go in/out of the village (for those who lived in the Annex side). My room was a common venue for lazy afternoons and those rare Saturday nights when I was not out at some party (or parties) or event. Yes, there were those Saturdays, believe it or not. Of course, no boys were allowed in Rowe's Room, it was my parents' home after all, and hello...I was a good catholic girl. (Okay, no snickering...I was, truly!) The boys allowed were friends who had girlfriends with them - definitely not MY boyfriend(s).
My room was like a "lounge." Airconditioned (remember, Manila location), tv, music, and an abundance of yummy snacks, hand-made and from scratch, cooked and baked by my awesome chef of a mom. Ensaymadas and sans rival and chocolate cakes were typical at my house, all at the same time. How I was not 300 lbs back then, I don't know. Perhaps the bountiful presence of food made me less interested.
Apart from mom's yummies available to us in Rowe's Room, I had makeup, accessories, cool stuff that made hanging out for hours fun (okay, not as fun as being out to parties..but fun enough).
Rowe's room was also on the corner of our lot. Windows faced out to the street. Friends driving by would see my lights on, or my car on the driveway, and next thing you know, there are 5+ ppl stopping at the house and trotting up to Rowe's Room. Good memories...
In Rowe's Room was where I wrote and wrote and wrote for hours and hours. Journals, letters, poems. I still have my red spiral-bound notebook with poems and quotes. The letters (I kept copies of letters I wrote to people), I don't have anymore and I can't recall when I decided to let go of them. I grew up watching my beloved dad, a beautiful writer who used a fountain pen and a ledger for a journal, write for hours as well. I wish I had his journals. I used to sneak in and read his entries..I used to get lost in his words. For some reason, my mom says she does not have my dad's journals. I get so sad thinking about how his legacy in words are now just lost, and I will not be able to read about his last days, last years.
A few people have told me to blog. For the most part, they want me to blog about my being a mom to my little luvvies. I wonder why anyone would want to read my words about anything. What is it to anyone, why would it be interesting? So, if you are out there, reading this...my musings, I wonder why!
It's almost midnight now. I am quite tired after an uncomfortable 1.5 hours at the dentist's for a filling, then a day at the job (Mozilla), then the rush of getting the little luvvies from school, bathed and then hauling myself to my first dance class (where I was humbled by chacha and samba). Miche has gone to bed and so should I. A Zyrtec (for my allergies) is part of each night time routine, leaving me groggy for the first 10 or so minutes upon waking every morning.
Tomorrow morning, I will wake up and will give my luvvies their goodmorning/wake-up kisses as I always do. And then it begins all over again. Go, go, go...rowe. That's me.
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